clarification

so, for those of you american idol fans...okay, so all of you--it seems as though i need to clarify something for you. when i wrote that adam winning was a silver lining in my day of crap it was followed by, "oh wait, that sucks too."

i did not want adam aka i wear too much make-up for a man or a woman to win. i was a kris fan from the beginning and if danny couldn't win then i'm glad it was him.

the joy of glee

i'm currently addicted to this:

my most recent day from hades

so, its been a day...and not one of those incredible ones where the sun is shining all around and you hear birds chirping while flowers are sprouting up around your ankles.

no, instead it was one of those child vomiting profusely in her carseat to the point of saturation/not having a spare outfit and you're in seattle so she has to make the trip home in the buff/older child running around winco while trying to keep the other one quiet due to the lack of binky/finally getting to the cash register and realizing you've forgotten your wallet, but you do have a checkbook (which never happens) only to get your last shred of hope dashed because they don't accept checks without a form of id, but you do have a random debit card that you think for a second you could run as credit only to find out that they don't take credit either/arguing with your husband about something totally idiotic that drives to cry your hormones out in the car ride from the store without your groceries that the manager had to store in the "cooler" until you can make the trek back/finally getting baby to sleep because not only one but all four binkies are MIA/while you're writing this incredibly sad yet semi-hard to read sob story, your child proceeds to rub, or smear rather, a confiscated piece of pizza into the carpet that you've worked so hard on keeping the color it came to you in since this has been an issue on more that one occasion in more that one apartment.

younger and older child in bed. head pounding slowing. pizza sauce expunged with 409 because its the only cleaner in said apartment (whole other story). spoke too soon...baby waking up thanks to the back up binky just not hitting the spot. oh well, at least adam's a shoe-in for american idol--oh wait, that totally sucks too. dangit

the early morning blues

so i had a whole blog written out in my head last night as i laid in my bed wide awake at 3:30 am. i contemplated going out to the front room to make sure i got it written down for posterity, but alas, we didn't have internet until 10:00 and in my early morning stupor, i didn't realize that i could just save it in a word document and post it later. moral of the story is, i can't remember it now. why was i wide awake at 3:30 you ask? no, luke was not up (for the love...), sofi had just got done eating, and i had gone to bed at 9:30. yes, its possible that i'm 90. andy was on his deathbed yet again yesterday, so he had been asleep for circa 6 hours by the time i finally gave in to the migraine that had conquered my once blissful cranium. he woke up and i laid down and squeezed (or squoze for my utah-ese speakers) my eyes shut, willing them to tell the rest of my body to give up too. well, i guess it did because by 3:00 i was apparently done sleeping. don't worry, i managed to convince my brain to stop firing after awhile and woke up at 6:45 when luke did.

ps are there enough time references in this post? maybe i should add another one just so the point definitly gets across. its 4:59 right now and i'm enjoying a rare but, nontheless amazing daddy/son outing. i'm enjoying their outing because they are both out :) not that i don't love the men in my life, but ladies you feel me, right?

stay tuned next week (or sooner if i'm on the ball) for an installment including the ever-awesome, most recent move experience and our trip to dozer day (spoiler--we waited in line for a digger for upwards of 45 minutes and just before luke got to go drive it, he melted down and cried through the whole ride to the point where the big, burly construction man lifted his hands in dismay)...is my life always going to be this predictable???

superman shirt: 15 dollars (its the gap, what do you do?), shorts from target: free (they were a gift from my good buddies, the gray sisters), luke lying on the floor to eat a chunk of beef jerky: priceless.

warning: not your average, witty post...read at your own risk

i'm feeling a little bit reflective as i've watched the clock move slowly, but surely from 4:00 am to 5:30. my "lovely" son decided to grace me with his presence at that unsightly hour and his little sister didn't wait too long to follow suit. she luckily knows how to go back to sleep while the sun does, but the former seems to think that darkness equals daytime. we're working on that...aka he's back in the crib when we eventually get to the aparment at a time yet to be determined this week.
as i sit here, trying not to eat to pass the time, i ponder on how i'm struggling a little with, well, sleep deprivation, let's be honest...but more heavily on my mind and not so broad shoulders is the outlook of this summer and the business that, for the first time, has a hazy outlook. with the exit of the person that has been with andy pretty much since he forayed into the world of satellite sales and installation 5 years ago, i'm left with a sense of insecurity with a dash of foreboding. i'm not doubting my husband's abilities or the fact that this is where we need to be at this time, but i was really surprised at the nervousness that has creeped into the forefront of my mind. was i wrapped up in a fuzzy security blanket of someone else's experience knowing that we had a united front against the thousands of doors that are so easily closed before they are opened? or is it merely the stress that i can literally see resting not so lightly on my eternal companion's heart and mind?

i know that heavenly father has a plan, but i can't help but to, every once in a while, wonder why the plan that was already in motion had to change. i hope this isn't coming across as my personal version of the apocalypse. we're really doing well with little miracles happening all the time.

i guess change is just sometimes that unwanted backseat driver that accompanies all of us along life's short, rocky journey. its not above sharing its opinion on where we should turn or how fast we should go, making sure to inform us that we were wrong in making certain decisions. being wrong sometimes, however, means that at other times, we're right. either way, we're always moving forward and with each turn in the road, comes a new experience and usually a happiness that we didn't expect or anticipate. i know that bend in the road is approaching and when it does, i'll know why "the plan" veered off its seemingly comfortable course. until then, i appreciate this opportunity i've had to share my thoughts even if they were just brought by my good buddy, sleep deprivation.