Wednesday, March 31, 2010

discouraged:

to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit.

 mama said there'd be days like this, right?  ha! now you're all singing the song in your heads.  my work here is done.  kidding...anyway, the last couple of days have not been on my list of top 5 "i'm so glad i woke up this morning" days.  the rain isn't exactly awesome, but a few other factore have contributed as well.  lets just say that i have a tiny flair for the dramatic and when i decided to let you all in on the slow but steady writing process that i've immersed myself in, i imagined an overwhelming response of adulation and encouragement.  comment after comment of atta-boys and way to go's etc...i waited...and waited.  my sweet husband let me know that maybe everyone is just busy and the post was a little long after all  yadi yadi yada.  yeah, in my current state, lets just say i didn't really take his word for it. 

i became discouraged.  enter my longtime friend: self-doubt.  which, of course, in turn, led me to question my ability as a mother, as a wife, as a writer.  i've struggled and questioned and possibly cried, but now, as i sit here in the wee hours of the morning (thanks to a nightmare brought on by a missing train...not mine...this time) i can really reflect on how truly blessed i am and recognize that its not outside praise that i need.  i may want it, but i can't expect things outside of my control to go my way.  so, in a nutshell--for now, i'm going to keep things a little simpler.  i'll try and be witty (its a stretch i know), and put up pictures of my little dudes, and not expect you all to be my guinea pigs.  kapiche?  no, i'm not itallian, but it always sounded good when uncle jesse said it on full house.

when did dr. phil inhabit my body?  enough with the pity party.  thanks for reading.  it really does make me happy...and happiness beats discouragement anyday.

ps thank you heidi and adam for what you DID say.  it meant a lot and didn't go unnoticed.  i'm not a complete prima donna :)  gracias

12 comments:

Christensen family said...

Tara ~ it's been WAY tooo long since I have blogged, or even checked out blogs. You are such a great writer. I love reading what you have to say and your experiences. You are classic! Your kids are darling, but growing way to fast. It's been fun seeing you lately! Keep stopping by! We miss you guys!!!!

AndyPandyJackaDandy said...

Hey Cuz: one thing I know for sure, you are very, very witty--it's in the genes! :) Also, kudos on the mastering of many languages. I am in awe.

adamf said...

Not a tip on writing, but on blogging and comments in general, one simple thing to do is to respond to people's comments here - generally that way comments can turn into short conversations and keep people coming back, rather than the hit-and-run style of comments, that generally don't have much life. Just my two cents. :)

Young Family said...

I read I just don't comment. No one comments on my blogs either. So sorry.

McCain Family said...

Hey T. I just wanted to let you know that I DID read it but I didn't respond quick enough! Why did you take it off?!!
I thought it was great and I was hoping to read it again :)
I love your wit, it's what got me through so many hours of our Spanish courses at good ol' WSU. :)
Love ya girl and I would LOVE to see more pics of the kiddos, kapiche?

tara said...

okay, feedback time. thanks everyone.
andrea, the humor is in the genes. hello! look at your kids...i mean, blue socks? come on.
adam-you're right! i never comment back on my blogs. i like to keep you guessing. is she gonna write back on facebook or my blog? keepin you on your toes buddy.
devin-thank you so much! it was in a moment of total bummed outness. i took it off all the while crying poor me. i'll put it back it on just for you my friend. hayden is precious by the way.
jess-you're right, i shouldn't expect it everytime. this was satan rearing his ugly head, telling me i'm a bad writer. thanks for reading :)

tara said...

...and jamie-you're so sweet. i hope we can come visit more often. your kids are way too big as well. thanks!

Larissa said...

what am I missing? Is there another blog. I promise I always look for when your blog is updated. Here this one is only 9 hours old, at least by my counter, which is NOT always accurate...which post did I not send out the appropriate "YOU ROCK" too?

Oh friend, I am so confused.

I promise I am not so wrapped in my own crazies that I meant to neglect you!

We really should commiserate in our crazies together.

LET me know what I am missing.

A little tardy, BUT you are awesome, while blogging is cool I think that it is not always good for sweet sensitive souls like us.

SO don't trust the blogoshpere....trust me...you truly are amazing and more than just a little awesome.

Sorry I am lame and am totally missing something.

LOVE YA!

PS. I am pretty sure your post could have been verbatim my feelings most days recently too...really we need to chat!

adamf said...

Lol, and my personal favorite, "I'll comment back on Adam's blog on some random post" :) Texting is okay too... and smoke signals.

Valeri Crockett said...

YOU are a writer and express yourself so well, seriously! I loved the glimpse into the book. And YES I fall into the category of reading all blogs and yet commenting randomly. Keep writing and sharing!!! Give the munchkins hugs from us!

Valeri Crockett said...

I read the glimpse into the book the day it was posted and LOVED it, seriously!! I love how you write, it's totally unique. You've got talent, for sure. You better share more!
Tell Andy hi and the two munchkins squeezes from us!
Love, Val

Valeri Crockett said...

I thought my first comment didn't go through, but I'm sure it did. So, I thought I'd send a third cause that's really funny.
Val